Graces, #27
It's been a busy week at our house. Sometimes I don't know how this can be, as Jeffrey and I love and crave stillness and calm but then I look over the breakfast table at my two, sunny-faced monkey children and it all becomes clear. Still, I am daily making attempts and finding quiet and stillness inside me...a solitary moment to read a page of something beautiful, taking full advantage of the moments of cooperative play to stare out the window, far far beyond the silver and green tree tops. And I'm trying really hard to not give in to all the beautiful, wonderful, good, things we keep filling our time with and remember how to keep home as our core. For a little bit longer. Still. 
I don't have a list today. But I do love this apron a lot. A thrift store score and exactly what I've been looking for, down to color. Extra points for the print reminding me of the illustrations in a favorite childhood story collection. How's that for something tiny and good? And when I wear it I feel in every pore the master of my kitchen. No, not mistress, that sounds like something else.
So...there's the apron. There are tiny, clutched at moments of calm. And there are BIG plans in my head, plans that are finally making their way to paper and a computer. Plans for a non-profit and a foundation and oh my, I can't tell you now, but I'm pretty sure I have figured out what I was born to do and though it's a couple years away (honestly) from being in any way more than a well-planned-out dream, I feel like the future is suddenly opening wide and I'm no longer nervous about what's next.
So...there's that, too.
3 comments:
Ah, we are soulsisters -- I totally know what you mean about craving calm and stillness and yet having to sacrifice it sometimes for the sake of the kiddos.
And it's so great that you're not afraid of the future. No need to be afraid -- it's going to be good!
I L.O.V.E. reading your blog. You have such a beautiful, graceful way of saying what most of us Mommies feel on a regular basis...but I usually find myself wanting to add some *bleep* words to my description of Mommyhood. Keep up the good work. You'll look back and wonder where the time all went.
Also, might I recommend this if you ever DO want to be the mistress of the kitchen?
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/7c/6/AAAAAh-Q5MQAAAAAAHxg_g.jpg
Perfect, Betsy! Just what I was looking for--for all those late nights deep-frying! Ugh. I fear for my thighs...
And seriously, you know my language isn't ALWAYS so gracious, right? I'm afraid in real-life I'm the sort of parent whose children will suddenly yell (loudly, in Target) SHIT while I have to act like "oh, that grampa of yours...!" I write mostly positively here because the positive, happy, rainbow-hued is NOT my natural inclination. At all. Thank you for your kind words, though--means a lot!
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